D: "I take it you have some interest in the GPS and its nurturing and nourishing characteristics?"

B: "Indeed I do.  Please explain it to me."

D: "Several years ago the US Department of Defense developed the GPS system as a way to ensure the safety of its troops.  The handheld devices are carried by all the troops now, and used at sea as well as in the air.  Each GI is issued a GPS with his standard bivouac gear and rations.  The GPS is issued with the First Aid and 10 Essentials kit, which is carried for the case of emergencies.  It contains everything a soldier needs to survive, when lost, for many months.  The GPS is the key to this survival scheme.  For, after the Clif Bars and life savers are gone, the GI can consume the GPS and it will stave off hunger for up to six months in a 250 man, or up to 3 months in a 600 pound bear.  The trick to survival and the slow release of nutrients into the digestive system is that the device must be swallowed whole.  This allows it to continue operating and receiving transmissions from the GPS satellite system in orbit above the earth.  The transmissions from the satellites include, in addition to positional data, nutritional deliveries that are both well-balanced and easily digestible.  These provide the energy needed to maintain stamina and prolonged departure from home, the meandering about needed to get found again, and all sorts of other mishaps."

B: "So the trick is to swallow it whole?  And then it will stave of hunger for the whole winter?"

D: "B, you are a quick study."

Friend Bear then tightened his grasp on my shoulder, as his stomach growled something terrible, and he emitted a belch the size of a small sleeping bag, the stench of which caused me to nearly faint.

B: "Well, Puff, how would you like to do a little horse-trading - say, your GPS for your skin?"

D: "B, if you could throw in the contents of that skin, you might have a deal."

And as he let go my shoulder, I tossed him the GPS and took off in the direction that Blubbering Bob had taken, back towards the trail.  I looked over my shoulder and saw the bear swallow my GPS whole.